summer school, take 2

i did not feel like a teacher today. i felt lost and helpless. and i had two 1st year teaching fellows to witness it. i was adamant to the dctf people that i NOT have teaching fellows in my room this summer. i dont know what i’m doing still, i dont feel capable to oversee, supervise and direct other adults. i am, however, stuck with them. great.

i really had no idea what to do today. i am SO glad that one of my cohort mates who had a pre-k autism class came out and gave me some ideas and advice about schedule and structure. thank god. i still felt like it was unmanagble and we had more adults than kids. sweet. i really felt like i failure. to the point that i desperately questioned whether i should have switched to early childhood. i had such success last week with the 8 and 10 year olds. granted, i had an aide, and that makes a huge difference. but i have some of the reading techniques down and a handle on creating materials and modifying the curriculum.  and i got structure down for that age group with longer attention spans. and now here i am trying to get kids to tell me a B is a B when all they want to do is eat paste and hit each other and have very short attention spans.

so much work to do to make enough activities for tomorrow and so stressed from the day that i cut my 200 dollar painting class tonight. i’m gonna go to the make-up on saturday morning, i hope. i really like it, its just hard to wing 7pm in old town.

i’ve had such a rough day, i might go to bed now. sad. but true. maybe i should find dinner first. i really want a chocolate cupcake with the marshmellow filling inside… teaching= eating like crap.